When I started this blog in January of 2020, I had every intention of writing about my continued journey in breaking free from fear and living in freedom. I was super motivated and threw ALL of my energy into creating and eventually launching this blog! Then the pandemic hit in March, and it seemed like all of those plans flew straight out of the window. I felt like I was living in survival mode, and suddenly the things that used to bring me joy, or used to excite me no longer did. Including this blog. It took me 7 whole months to even muster up the energy and motivation to write again.
But can I be a little transparent? The pandemic wasn’t the only reason I’ve barely written anything or even publicly launched this blog. The other reason was due to what some have called, “Perfection Paralysis”. This is the phenomenon where you have an idea, goal, or new thing you want to try. You do all the research necessary, and begin working on this idea or goal. You keep working on it, and working on it, over and over again, but you never actually move past the preparation stage because all of your energy is concentrated on making sure everything is absolutely “perfect”.
Now you might be saying to yourself, “this sounds like a reasonable thing to do though, right?” Don’t get me wrong, it makes sense that you’d want to make sure whatever you are producing is of good quality! But often times, this desire for perfection is a cover up or a disguise for a deeper issue; that issue being fear, and more specifically the fear of failure. This is what was happening to me. I was afraid of putting myself and this blog out there for everyone to see because I was afraid it might fail, or that people wont like it, or that what I am producing isn’t as good someone else’s. So I’ve stayed in this “preparation” stage tirelessly ensuring there are zero mistakes so that everything about it will be perfect and free of criticism from others.
But as most of us know, that’s just not the way things work.
Honestly it took me until a few weeks ago to realize that I suffered from perfection paralysis, and that this is an identifiable pattern in my life. There have been so many dreams and ideas that I have wanted to pursue that I either never started, or started but never finished because I was too afraid of making mistakes or afraid of peoples criticisms if everything wasn’t 100% perfect. It honestly makes me sad to think about how many things I’ve never done because I was too afraid to take the leap and put myself out there. I am however, grateful that I now recognize this issue and can make changes to rectify it. I am also grateful that we have a God who gives us the chance to change as well! But as I have been reflecting on this, I was very candidly reminded of this truth:
I am not perfect. You are not perfect. No one in this world is perfect nor can anyone achieve complete perfection. The only one who fits that role is Jesus, and I believe He gives way more grace for our imperfections than we give to ourselves. I don’t know about you but that takes a whole lot of pressure off me! I think if we can live our lives remembering that, the fear of failure would have way less of a hold on us.
And when you really think about it, imperfection isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If everything were perfect there would be no room for you to learn, grow, or develop yourself or your craft. Imperfections also give room for us to lean and depend more on God, and it gives Him the chance to show His strength, power, and provision in our lives.
And if something you’ve tried has failed before, its also okay. Failing at something does not mean that YOU are a failure. Your identify is not tied up in whether you fail or succeed; its found in the One who never fails. The one who calls you precious and honored in His sight, and who calls you the apple of His eye. And even when you try something and it doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped it would, please remember that Jesus will be there to catch you every. single. time.
I also want to add that when it comes to fear of peoples criticisms, the honest truth is that not everyone is going to like what you do. People will judge and criticize, and even verbally express their dislike for what you’ve created. And as difficult as it is for me to accept this reality, I have to learn that people not always liking what I produce is okay too. What I have to offer may not be for everybody, but what I have to offer is for somebody, and that’s what matters at the end of the day.
And please believe that I recognize what I’ve shared is WAY easier said than done, but can you imagine what we could do if we were not shackled to paralyzing perfection? I wonder how many dreams and ideas God has placed inside of you that are just waiting for you to break free from fear and pursue what He has called you to do? And that these dreams and ideas not only bring glory to Him, but also help uplift the communities around us.
I don’t know about you, but I have come to the point where I don’t want to be trapped in perfection paralysis anymore. I don’t want to be fearful of making mistakes, or fearful of what other people might say about it. So as hard and scary as it is, I am taking the leap of faith and I’m diving in, imperfections and all! And I hope that you too can do the same.
